Friday, June 26, 2009

i can haz lite

Possibly one of the most bizarre Bible translation projects ever, there is a site devoted to translating the Bible into 'LOLCat' (no, I didn't know what it was either), a slang form popularised by this site. Somehow they have managed the whole Bible, which is either a labour of love of the work of someone two tweets short of a networking site.

I'm sure you'll work this one out:

1 iff i talkd wif teh tungz of manz n angylz, n duzzn haz luff, i are becom liek teh human, knockin down all teh potz n panz frm teh shelf, srsly.2 iff i haz powarz of liek tellin the futurez an if i has access to teh internets, an i gotz all teh missteriez an all teh knowingz an all teh faithz, enuff 2 taek all teh mowntanz awayz, an i duzzn haz luff, i gotz nuffink.3 an evn iff i givez all mai stuffz awai, n iff i delivur mai bodiz to b burnded up, and i duzzn haz luff, i gotz nuffink.

4 Luv is pashient n kind, luv haz no jelusniss or showin offz, luv no is stuck-up5 or r00dz. Luv no insistzes on doin it 4 itzelf, itz not pisst off alla tiem or rezentflufflele.6 Luv izzn all happiez about doin it wrong, but is happiez about teh truthz.7 Luv putz up wiht all teh stuffz, beelivez all teh stuffz, hoepz for all teh stuffz. Luv putz up wiht all teh stuffz... i sed that areddy?

8 Luv no haz endingz. Tellin the futurez, tungz, an alla stuffz u know wil die.9 We haz knowingz a bit, an we haz profacy a bit. We no haz two much tho.10 O, wait. Win teh perfict coemz, teh not perfict will dyez, lolol.11 Wen i wuz a kitten, i meweded leik a kitten, thinkded liek a kittenz, an I chazed strings liek a kittenz. Wen i wuz becomez a cat, i NO WANT kitten waiz ne moar.12 For nao we see in teh foggy mirorr like when teh human gets out of teh shower, but tehn we see faec tow faec. Nao i haz knowingz just a bit, tehn i will haz all teh knowingz, as i haz been knownz.

13 Nao faithz an hoepz an luvz r hear, theses threes, but teh bestest iz teh luv. srsly.

this is more tricky:
Teh Cheezburgerz and teh meme
13 u r teh cheezburgerz. if cheezburgerz haz no cheez, taste bad. trashcat can has it.
14 u r teh meme of teh internet. lolcat pic online iz not invizible.
15 emos dont frendslock lj posts. tehy post public 4 all teh internetz.
16 u 2 post lolcat pic online so internetz is liek "OMG! ur so k00l! Ceiling Cat rockz!"

any guesses?

thanks (if that's the right word) to Matt Wardman for tweeting this.

Update: Eddie Arthur posts a helpful reminder that, for all the fun we can have (?) over the Lolcat bible, there are still over 2000 languages which don't have their own Bible translation.


  1. You are the salt and the light? I've seen some strange versions of the Bible, but this takes the biscuit. (Sorry I don't know how to say that in LOLCat or whatever, as it might have greater weight!)

  2. you might be right Gary...

  3. It's not that "blessed are the cheesemakers" business from the Life of Brian, is it?

    If it is an attempted satire on "blessed are the peacemakers", I must admit I get lost after the first few words...

  4. To be fair, it's a more accurate translation than the Good News and less confessionally biased than the REB or the NIV...