2 months later than planned, after parts 1 and 2 (on time out and accountability respectively), part 3 on moving from a Christian life that treads water to one that is developing and growing.
Spiritual Disciplines
Several of the best Christian writers of modern times have tackled this subject, so if you're really serious about spiritual disciplines you should have a look at:
Richard Foster Celebration of Discipline
Dallas Willard Spirit of the Disciplines
John Ortberg The Life You've Always Wanted.
Reflecting on Ortberg a few weeks ago, I quoted his analogy of 'training versus trying harder'. No athlete, footballer, cricketer etc. just relies on turning up and being inspired. The Olympic athletes are already well into their training routines for events that are still months away. If you are planning on turning in a peak performance, then you discipline yourself: sleep, diet, habits, exercise. Everything has a goal in mind: to make your body ready for that moment when the greatest demands are upon it, so that you perform at your best.
Bible authors talk about training. Paul talks about disciplining his body, becoming it's master, so that he can be subject to Christ. In 1 Corinthians 9 he uses training for the Greek games as a metaphor for the spiritual life. Timothy is instructed to 'train yourself to be godly'. The writer to the Hebrews speaks of training to distinguish good from evil: bringing the discernment muscle up to full strength.
2 alternatives to training
Unfortunately, we've missed out on this language, and the wisdom behind it, in favour of two other models:
1. The teaching/learning model. A common myth in evangelical circles used to be that if you got a correct grasp of the truth in your mind, your behaviour would automatically change. Favourite texts were 2 Timothy 3:16, on the use of scripture to 'correct' behaviour and train in righteousness. The way to train disciples was to train them in the scriptures, and to teach. Discipleship (this is a bit of a caricature, by the way) consisted of grasping the right truths from the right texts.
The danger of this model is that it produces people who know plenty, and believe that this is the main thing that God requires of them. The prophets wouldn't agree, and neither would Jesus, who had plenty to say to people who knew their Bibles backwards but whose lives dishonoured God.
2. The exhortation model. This is more of a 'sugar boost' model of disciple making. The basic idea is that if you hit people with an inspirational message, or better still they get zapped with the Holy Spirit, then that will tip them over into being more like Jesus. Preaching starts to overlap into motivational speeches, and the danger is that Chrisitans become lazy, and start to rely on getting pumped up by their preacher/zapped by the Spirit/going to Spring Harvest or New Wine to get the spiritual sugar rush that will at least keep them going for a couple of months.
Now there is plenty of 'striving' language in the Bible, pretty much every New Testament letter has some sort of exhortation in it. So exhorting and encouraging and motivating people is a good thing. But it's not the only thing.
A red letter life
Willard, Ortberg and the rest tell us to look at Jesus. If we want to live a life like Jesus, we must do 2 things a) do what he says b) do what he does. Unfrotunately those red letter bibles which put Jesus words in a different colour to his actions perpetuate the Gnostic myth that the main thing we need is Jesus teaching, and we can pretty much ignore what he does and how he does it. Anything which separates Jesus words from his life makes them a timeless body of truths, detached from history and the fact of the incarnation, and makes salvation dependent on grasping the right truths, rather than on trusting the right person. This is not salvation. And I mean salvation in it's fullest sense: wholeness, healing, full restoration of all that we are to the image of God in which we were made.
So what does Jesus do?
a) He prays regularly, in solitude
b) He goes to quiet places, like the desert
c) He fasts: the 40 day fast at the start of his ministry is unlikely to be a one-off. Jesus probably wouldn't have managed it if he'd not been fasting already, and maybe done other extended fasts before.
d) He knew the Bible: not just in an 'I can quote Isaiah 28:3' kind of way (I have no idea what Isaiah 28:3 even says......!!), but he knew what it meant and how to apply it and think it through
e) He practiced servanthood: washing feet and so on.
f) He renounced possessions - all the evidence suggests that Jesus lived rough, or on other people's hospitality, for his time of public ministry. When the disciples are sent out they are told to take nothing. There is no argument, as there might have been if they'd seen Jesus not playing by his own rules.
The Bible, and Jesus, regularly point us to things like this which are the God-ordained means of spiritual training. If you want to train for a marathon, there are certain practices you'll need to get stuck into in order to get your body in condition. If you want to run the spiritual race, here are the practices which make you fit enough to stay the course, and to run the race to the finish line, rather than stagger to the floor out of breath part way round.
How spiritual disciplines work.
Spiritual disciplines work on two levels. On one level, it's fairly obvious. If we practice saying 'no' to food, even when we're hungry (fasting), or keeping our mouths shut even when we're tempted to speak, or craving for noise (silence), then we are training our wills. So when the big challenges to willpower come, we will be more able to meet them, because we've trained our wills to be stronger. There is a clear logic of cause and effect.
At another level, there is a divine logic. We don't know how fasting, solitude and scripture meditation work to open ourselves up to God, but many who have done these things testify to an increase in spiritual sharpness. Rees Howells, a great Welsh prayer warrior of the 20th century, devoted himself to prayer and fasting, and was massively used by God in mission and in intercession. Early accounts of St. Anthony, father of the monastic movement, speak of a depth of holiness and wisdom acquired from solitude and prayer in the desert. Though there is probably some legend in Athanasius' account of his life, there must have been something pretty compelling about this one man to launch one of the most significant, and long-lasting, moves in global Christianity.
The best place to start is probably Fosters book, which has a chapter on each of the classical spiritual disciplines. And for a time framework, a good place to start is the church year. One of the great things about Anglican worship is that we regularly have 'seasons' - 40 days in Lent, 4 weeks in Advent, 40 days after Easter (to ascension day) 10 days from Ascension to Pentecost etc. All of these are great 'trial periods', to start on a particular spiritual discipline. You give yourself a get-out clause after a few weeks, so to start with it doesn't look like you're taking up (say) fasting forever, but hopefully by the end of the 40 days (or whatever), the new spiritual habit is already well on the way to becoming ingrained.
There are links to parts 1 & 2 as well. Accountability is a great thing for helping us to get started and keep going, with other people supplying what's lacking in our own willpower or self-discipline. Doing things together with others can be very powerful - there are plenty of corporate fasts and prayer times in the Bible. At a personal level, regular time out gives us the chance to see how we're getting on, to pick ourselves up if we've fallen over, and to hear what it is God would like us to do. And both of these are spiritual disciplines in and of themselves.
Showing posts with label from surviving to thriving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label from surviving to thriving. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
From Surviving to Thriving 2: Accountability
A week or so later than planned, here's part 2 of 'From Surviving to Thriving', part 1 is here.
As a Christian, and a leader, it's very easy to end up treading water. A recent Willow Creek CD focused on the fact that if a leader isn't growing, it's very likely his/her organisation isn't growing too. Some churches even have a small committee whose sole task is to make sure the leader is developing and growing. My guess is they're mostly large American ones!
How do we move from surviving to thriving? How do we stop treading water and start making waves (to use a slightly corny illustration!)? 4 things:
- Time out
- Accountability
- Spiritual disciplines
- Learning
Accountability
Currently all the rage in business, youth work, etc., under the title of mentoring, Crocodile Dundee's famous observation about US society is relevant here. On hearing that lots of people went to talk to psychiatrists about their problems, he remarked 'why's that? Haven't they got any mates?' Mentoring in schools is often a substitute for the absence of a father or responsible parent.
One problem of leadership is that it's lonely. It's easy to end up with lot of acquaintances, but not many friends, especially if you're regularly moving post. Our Christmas card list is getting on for 150 now, and we divide it into sections, according to the 3-5 years we've spent in different places: Shepton Mallet, Nottingham, Yeovil, Darlington etc.
The trouble with this is that not many people know you well, there can be folk who know the public face, but don't know if this is the real you, or a persona. Here's a helpful little grid:
1. What we know & what others know = public
2. What we know & what others don't know - secrets
3. What we don't know & others do know - blind spots
4. What we don't know & others don't know - mysteries
1: there are things known to both us and to others. These are public facts. Ideally, what's in this line should be as much of us as possible.
2: we know plenty about ourselves that others don't know. These things only become public by disclosure - i.e. if we choose to make them known. It's a bad thing for a leader, a Christian, in fact anyone, to have the majority of their life hidden below the waterline. Particularly for extrovert personalities, who work out what they feel and think by talking about things, we need to stay in the habit of letting trusted friends know what's going on inside us. There are too many casualties of people who tried to handle a secret on their own - sexual, financial or power temptations - and failed. If there aren't friendships where these things can be talked about or given attention, a mentor is a good idea. I have a spiritual director - after about 12 years of being encouraged to do so - and to have a couple of hours every 3 months where the quality of my prayer life and walk with God is the sole topic of conversation forces me to be honest about what's going on, and gives the chance to hold that part of me up to the light and see it for what it is.
Writer and speaker John Powell talks about 5 levels of communication: pleasantries, facts, opinions, emotions, and 'gut level'. Level 1 (pleasantries) is the easiest and least demanding, but it's only at levels 4 and 5 where we are really challenged to be self-aware, honest and transparent. Unless we hit these levels of communication with someone, a gap opens up between who we are on the outside, and who we are on the inside. This is, literally, dis-integration. Integrity is about being the same person in private as in public, who you are when no-one is looking. If we get out of practice of disclosure about ourselves to trusted people - lovers, friends, mentors - then we create a dangerous distance within ourselves.
3. There are things about us that others can see and we can't. Blind spots. The only way we will come to see many of these things is by feedback - letting other people speak honestly to us. Not many of us are good at this: we brush off praise and take criticism personally. But it's vital to development: if I'm to become a better husband, father, preacher, or blogger, I need to know where I'm going wrong. I'll work some of that out for myself, but someone else can usually see things much more clearly than I can. So feedback is essential. Again, a mentor can point out things that they see in us which raise questions for them.
The 'huddle' system at St. Thomas's in Sheffield does this in a structured way with small group leaders - there are set questions which groups of leaders use to help each other be accountable. A good resource for this is John Mallinson's book 'Mentoring', which has some searching questions in the appendix for use either alone or with others. In a way this is not that different from Wesleys old class system - a group of Christians getting together for the main purpose of encouraging each other as disciples. From Jesus onwards, the standard mode of Christian discipleship has been community, because it's in community that other people can see who we really are, and help us to face it, and encourage us to grow.
4. There are some things that neither we nor our mates will catch on to. Only God can see them, and we rely on God to point them out by revelation. Which is where this topic links to the last topic - it's Time Out to pray, listen and be with God where these things come to light. It also links to topic 4: study - God often speaks through the stuff we're reading and wrestling with, and it's in that process that truth comes through. Study is a way of putting ourselves in the place where God can speak to us.
Some of the mentoring literature talks about a 'constellation' of mentors - people to mentor you in all the different aspects of life (a coach for skills, a teacher for knowledge, a spiritual guide for prayer and discipleship etc.). I'm not sure we need all of these if we've got friends and Christian community to do it for us, but maybe the emergence of mentors is symptomatic of the fact that geniune, well-functioning Christian community is scarce.
Where it is worth having structured relationships is in areas where we've dedicated ourselves to growth, or where we know we're out of our depth. So, to illustrate, I have:
- a spiritual director, to help me focus on prayer and my walk with God
- a mentor for the work I'm doing as a missioner, since I've never done this kind of thing before, there is so much to learn, and having someone with more experience who I can take things to every 3 months is a great safety net.
- a prayer partner (fairly recent): to regularly talk over what's going on and pray with each other.
- a group which oversees my work and meets every few months to help me sort out priorities. (I've also used a work consultant - provided free by the Diocese, yippee! - on a couple of
occasions to help work out my work priorities. I'd recommend this to any leader)
- food and coffee with fellow leaders and other people I respect, just to chew the fat. It's also a great chance to explore the legendary Somerset pub food.
- books: bluntly put, we can be mentored and inspired by dead people. Simon Peter, George Whitefield, Winston Churchill, St Antony of Egypt - anyone who's in print by their own hand or someone elses can become part of our 'great crowd of witnesses' who inspire us and keep us going.
This sounds like a lot, but in reality (apart from the prayer partner) it's roughly 1 meeting every month or so, and on top of the practical help and wisdom I get from it all, there's a deep sense of reassurance from knowing that this 'scaffolding' is in place.
Spiritual disciplines next week, just in time for Lent!
As a Christian, and a leader, it's very easy to end up treading water. A recent Willow Creek CD focused on the fact that if a leader isn't growing, it's very likely his/her organisation isn't growing too. Some churches even have a small committee whose sole task is to make sure the leader is developing and growing. My guess is they're mostly large American ones!
How do we move from surviving to thriving? How do we stop treading water and start making waves (to use a slightly corny illustration!)? 4 things:
- Time out
- Accountability
- Spiritual disciplines
- Learning
Accountability
Currently all the rage in business, youth work, etc., under the title of mentoring, Crocodile Dundee's famous observation about US society is relevant here. On hearing that lots of people went to talk to psychiatrists about their problems, he remarked 'why's that? Haven't they got any mates?' Mentoring in schools is often a substitute for the absence of a father or responsible parent.
One problem of leadership is that it's lonely. It's easy to end up with lot of acquaintances, but not many friends, especially if you're regularly moving post. Our Christmas card list is getting on for 150 now, and we divide it into sections, according to the 3-5 years we've spent in different places: Shepton Mallet, Nottingham, Yeovil, Darlington etc.
The trouble with this is that not many people know you well, there can be folk who know the public face, but don't know if this is the real you, or a persona. Here's a helpful little grid:
1. What we know & what others know = public
2. What we know & what others don't know - secrets
3. What we don't know & others do know - blind spots
4. What we don't know & others don't know - mysteries
1: there are things known to both us and to others. These are public facts. Ideally, what's in this line should be as much of us as possible.
2: we know plenty about ourselves that others don't know. These things only become public by disclosure - i.e. if we choose to make them known. It's a bad thing for a leader, a Christian, in fact anyone, to have the majority of their life hidden below the waterline. Particularly for extrovert personalities, who work out what they feel and think by talking about things, we need to stay in the habit of letting trusted friends know what's going on inside us. There are too many casualties of people who tried to handle a secret on their own - sexual, financial or power temptations - and failed. If there aren't friendships where these things can be talked about or given attention, a mentor is a good idea. I have a spiritual director - after about 12 years of being encouraged to do so - and to have a couple of hours every 3 months where the quality of my prayer life and walk with God is the sole topic of conversation forces me to be honest about what's going on, and gives the chance to hold that part of me up to the light and see it for what it is.
Writer and speaker John Powell talks about 5 levels of communication: pleasantries, facts, opinions, emotions, and 'gut level'. Level 1 (pleasantries) is the easiest and least demanding, but it's only at levels 4 and 5 where we are really challenged to be self-aware, honest and transparent. Unless we hit these levels of communication with someone, a gap opens up between who we are on the outside, and who we are on the inside. This is, literally, dis-integration. Integrity is about being the same person in private as in public, who you are when no-one is looking. If we get out of practice of disclosure about ourselves to trusted people - lovers, friends, mentors - then we create a dangerous distance within ourselves.
3. There are things about us that others can see and we can't. Blind spots. The only way we will come to see many of these things is by feedback - letting other people speak honestly to us. Not many of us are good at this: we brush off praise and take criticism personally. But it's vital to development: if I'm to become a better husband, father, preacher, or blogger, I need to know where I'm going wrong. I'll work some of that out for myself, but someone else can usually see things much more clearly than I can. So feedback is essential. Again, a mentor can point out things that they see in us which raise questions for them.
The 'huddle' system at St. Thomas's in Sheffield does this in a structured way with small group leaders - there are set questions which groups of leaders use to help each other be accountable. A good resource for this is John Mallinson's book 'Mentoring', which has some searching questions in the appendix for use either alone or with others. In a way this is not that different from Wesleys old class system - a group of Christians getting together for the main purpose of encouraging each other as disciples. From Jesus onwards, the standard mode of Christian discipleship has been community, because it's in community that other people can see who we really are, and help us to face it, and encourage us to grow.
4. There are some things that neither we nor our mates will catch on to. Only God can see them, and we rely on God to point them out by revelation. Which is where this topic links to the last topic - it's Time Out to pray, listen and be with God where these things come to light. It also links to topic 4: study - God often speaks through the stuff we're reading and wrestling with, and it's in that process that truth comes through. Study is a way of putting ourselves in the place where God can speak to us.
Some of the mentoring literature talks about a 'constellation' of mentors - people to mentor you in all the different aspects of life (a coach for skills, a teacher for knowledge, a spiritual guide for prayer and discipleship etc.). I'm not sure we need all of these if we've got friends and Christian community to do it for us, but maybe the emergence of mentors is symptomatic of the fact that geniune, well-functioning Christian community is scarce.
Where it is worth having structured relationships is in areas where we've dedicated ourselves to growth, or where we know we're out of our depth. So, to illustrate, I have:
- a spiritual director, to help me focus on prayer and my walk with God
- a mentor for the work I'm doing as a missioner, since I've never done this kind of thing before, there is so much to learn, and having someone with more experience who I can take things to every 3 months is a great safety net.
- a prayer partner (fairly recent): to regularly talk over what's going on and pray with each other.
- a group which oversees my work and meets every few months to help me sort out priorities. (I've also used a work consultant - provided free by the Diocese, yippee! - on a couple of
occasions to help work out my work priorities. I'd recommend this to any leader)
- food and coffee with fellow leaders and other people I respect, just to chew the fat. It's also a great chance to explore the legendary Somerset pub food.
- books: bluntly put, we can be mentored and inspired by dead people. Simon Peter, George Whitefield, Winston Churchill, St Antony of Egypt - anyone who's in print by their own hand or someone elses can become part of our 'great crowd of witnesses' who inspire us and keep us going.
This sounds like a lot, but in reality (apart from the prayer partner) it's roughly 1 meeting every month or so, and on top of the practical help and wisdom I get from it all, there's a deep sense of reassurance from knowing that this 'scaffolding' is in place.
Spiritual disciplines next week, just in time for Lent!
Monday, January 07, 2008
From Surviving to Thriving, Part 1
I wanted to bring together a few thoughts about leadership, and being a Christian in general. I come across folk all over the place who have dropped out of church, Christian faith, and leadership. Meanwhile 'Extreme Pilgrim' Peter Owen Jones is finding his faith dry and his church uninspiring, and gone off on a world tour to find spiritual depth and nourishment.
At a New Wine conference a few years ago, a speaker on leadership was talking about the importance of leaders giving a significant chunk of their time to 'personal renewal'. It's not just leaders. Life is demanding whatever you do, and any Christian needs renewal time to move from surviving to thriving. This renewal includes
- Time out
- Accountability
- Spiritual disciplines
- Learning
A few thoughts on Time Out...
'The Unreflected Life is Not Worth Living'
Socrates I think. His point is that if you never stand back from what you're doing, saying, thinking etc., you won't really live. In this weeks Touching Base I raise the question of whether we are thermostats or thermometers. The thermostat sets the temperature, the thermometer merely reflects the temperature. We'll be thermometers all our lives (or to use Biblical language 'blown here and there by every wind of doctrine') unless we're able to stop, stand back, stop reacting to things, and plot our own course.
This comes back to the idea of putting the big rocks in first. Jesus was able to withstand incredible pressure because he knew what his priorities were. After 40 days fasting in the desert, he withstood temptation because he knew his God and his mission. After the (possibly even greater) pressure of success, he told the disciples it was time to leave and go elsewhere to declare the good news 'for that is why I have come'.
How did Jesus manage it? When the disciples find him, he's been away praying. Jesus is always doing this. He manages to be at his best with the crowds, because he's already been with God.
What Peter Owen-Jones is doing is getting away from it all in order to find spiritual life. I don't know if he normally goes on retreats, or whether he's now catching up for 14 years of not taking them (!) It's the same impulse, but done on catch-up. Jesus knew that he needed time with God before the pressure came, rather than when he'd got to a point of frustration or burn-out.
My own pattern for putting the big rocks in first, which is just what works for me, not a blueprint for anyone else, is:
- weekly: a couple of hours on a Monday morning looking at the week ahead, putting the big rocks into the diary (rather than squeezing them in around smaller things), getting a handle on what needs to be done, and spending some time reading and praying, and using some review tools (e.g. a short stress levels questionnaire, questions on how my walk with God is going, where the pressure points currently are, Bible passages which help to reflect on character and discipleship etc.)
- monthly: either a quiet day at a nearby retreat house (see below) or a study day - a local family has lent me use of their granny flat, which gets me away from the phone and the internet, and is a great space to read, pray and think.
- yearly: at least one major conference (for teaching and encouragement) and a retreat of 3-4 days to really get into stillness and silence, and to try to hear what God's saying about the year ahead, and about where I'm at and where my key relationships are at.
I've discovered through hard experience that this is the minimum of what I need in terms of time out, though it's a constant struggle to make and protect these times. That's the trouble, unless we make them happen, nobody will make them happen for us.
The next bit will be useless for those of you who don't live anywhere near Yeovil, unless you fancy a pilgrimage to the West Country. If you want some time out locally, and are wondering where to go or how to start, then here's some links:
Abbey House Glastonbury
Compton Durville - Franciscan convent just off the A303
Mill House, Tiverton
Chantmarle Centre, Dorset
Hilfield Friary, Dorset - sadly scaling down what they do, but still open to some visitors
Monks Yard, nr Ilminster - opening up in the next few months, has the advantage of an on-site cafe! Looks better for group awaydays than individuals
Chemin Neuf Community, Langport. Their current programme is here.
Sheldon (Society of Mary and Martha) Devon - specifically aimed at clergy couples, but available to others too.
May God help you thrive.
At a New Wine conference a few years ago, a speaker on leadership was talking about the importance of leaders giving a significant chunk of their time to 'personal renewal'. It's not just leaders. Life is demanding whatever you do, and any Christian needs renewal time to move from surviving to thriving. This renewal includes
- Time out
- Accountability
- Spiritual disciplines
- Learning
A few thoughts on Time Out...
'The Unreflected Life is Not Worth Living'
Socrates I think. His point is that if you never stand back from what you're doing, saying, thinking etc., you won't really live. In this weeks Touching Base I raise the question of whether we are thermostats or thermometers. The thermostat sets the temperature, the thermometer merely reflects the temperature. We'll be thermometers all our lives (or to use Biblical language 'blown here and there by every wind of doctrine') unless we're able to stop, stand back, stop reacting to things, and plot our own course.
This comes back to the idea of putting the big rocks in first. Jesus was able to withstand incredible pressure because he knew what his priorities were. After 40 days fasting in the desert, he withstood temptation because he knew his God and his mission. After the (possibly even greater) pressure of success, he told the disciples it was time to leave and go elsewhere to declare the good news 'for that is why I have come'.
How did Jesus manage it? When the disciples find him, he's been away praying. Jesus is always doing this. He manages to be at his best with the crowds, because he's already been with God.
What Peter Owen-Jones is doing is getting away from it all in order to find spiritual life. I don't know if he normally goes on retreats, or whether he's now catching up for 14 years of not taking them (!) It's the same impulse, but done on catch-up. Jesus knew that he needed time with God before the pressure came, rather than when he'd got to a point of frustration or burn-out.
My own pattern for putting the big rocks in first, which is just what works for me, not a blueprint for anyone else, is:
- weekly: a couple of hours on a Monday morning looking at the week ahead, putting the big rocks into the diary (rather than squeezing them in around smaller things), getting a handle on what needs to be done, and spending some time reading and praying, and using some review tools (e.g. a short stress levels questionnaire, questions on how my walk with God is going, where the pressure points currently are, Bible passages which help to reflect on character and discipleship etc.)
- monthly: either a quiet day at a nearby retreat house (see below) or a study day - a local family has lent me use of their granny flat, which gets me away from the phone and the internet, and is a great space to read, pray and think.
- yearly: at least one major conference (for teaching and encouragement) and a retreat of 3-4 days to really get into stillness and silence, and to try to hear what God's saying about the year ahead, and about where I'm at and where my key relationships are at.
I've discovered through hard experience that this is the minimum of what I need in terms of time out, though it's a constant struggle to make and protect these times. That's the trouble, unless we make them happen, nobody will make them happen for us.
The next bit will be useless for those of you who don't live anywhere near Yeovil, unless you fancy a pilgrimage to the West Country. If you want some time out locally, and are wondering where to go or how to start, then here's some links:
Abbey House Glastonbury
Compton Durville - Franciscan convent just off the A303
Mill House, Tiverton
Chantmarle Centre, Dorset
Hilfield Friary, Dorset - sadly scaling down what they do, but still open to some visitors
Monks Yard, nr Ilminster - opening up in the next few months, has the advantage of an on-site cafe! Looks better for group awaydays than individuals
Chemin Neuf Community, Langport. Their current programme is here.
Sheldon (Society of Mary and Martha) Devon - specifically aimed at clergy couples, but available to others too.
May God help you thrive.
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