Thursday, July 12, 2012

50 Shades of Tory

After quietly sending 'we're all in this together' to the political landfill, secret memos reveal Government attempts to use another popular phrase to boost popularity. Variations currently being explored are:

50 Shades of Orange: a vulnerable political party signs up to a 5 year agreement which involves regular public humiliation over electoral reform, and being put in a series of awkward positions.

47 Shades of Grey: With the combined effects of austerity and efficiency savings, this government has been able to reduce overall greyness. Under Labour, there would have been 55 shades, and 11 would have been borrowed. In the long term we hope to reduce to 1 shade of grey, and allow the private sector to provide the rest.

50 Shards of Gary: Pop singers begin to explode as a tax avoidance scheme goes horribly wrong.

40 Shares of Gross: only available to those earning over £100,000 a year.

50 Grades of Shay: Goalkeeper Shay Given is recruited by Michael Gove to demonstrate that GCSEs are too easy. Given will attempt to take, and pass, all 50 subjects currently available in a period of 10 weeks.

50 Shades of Puce: Conservative backbenchers during the debate on Lords reform.

No comments:

Post a Comment