Sunday, July 01, 2012

How To Fix Everything

We must have a :
  • full public enquiry,
  • an independent judicial review,
  • a select committee report,
  • an internal review,
  • an external preview,
  • a police investigation
  • a poll of Daily Mail readers
  • a Twitter hashtag
  • a text exchange with a representative of Rupert Murdoch
to work out which of the above options is the most effective in getting things sorted out. Then we need one of those into everything else:
  • the banking crisis
  • politicians
  • journalists
  • supermarkets
  • Lords reform
  • the Euro
  • the omission of David Beckham from the Olympic team
  • the omission of Seb Coe from the Olympic team
  • why an event devoted to sporting excellence, physical activity and health has a giant Macdonalds in the middle of the site.
  • why Andy Murray only ever gets to the semis at Wimbledon
  • the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey
  • who ate all the pies?
  • the weather
  • where be yon blackbird to? (an ancient Somerset riddle)
and then everything will be fine. The British public demand it, and we won't settle for anything less.

1 comment:

  1. 'e be up yon Wurzel tree. As every yokel knows.