Stan Collymore on what it's like to have depression

If you've never had depression, then this vivid account by footballer Stan Collymore may help you understand a bit more about what it's like. If you have had it, then you might be able to relate to what he says. (update: Steve Tilley has drawn my attention to the blog Lets Talk About Depression, which is also worth a look)

If you're thinking 'oh no, a footballer trying to write' then don't. Just read it:

I'm typing and my brain is full,cloudy and detached but i know i need to elaborate on what i'm going through because there are so many going through this that need to know it's an illness,just an illness.Not bad,mad,crazy or weak,just ill,and that with this particular illness,for its sufferers,for family and friends who are there but feel they can't help,you can!

Patience,time,kindness and support.That's all we need.No "pull your socks up",no "get out of bed you lazy git",just acknowledge the feedback the sufferer gives,get them to go to the GP asap,and help them do the little things bit by bit.

That may seem simple but in my experience,and currently as we speak,having a bath,walking for 5 minutes in the fresh air,making a meal,all things that days before were the norm,seem alien,so friends and family can help ,just by being non judgemental,and helping in the background to get the sufferer literally back on their feet.

At an evening with Jeff Lucas and Adrian Plass last week, two of the funniest Christian communicators in the UK, both spoke about their episodes of depression. It can happen to anyone, no matter how jolly or otherwise they appear on the outside.

which sets me thinking again about whether we need a 'Blue Christmas' service in the area this year, for people who find this season particularly hard and dark. I've posted about this before (see tags) but still not done anything about it, to my shame.

(this was originally written on Saturday, since when we've had this awful news about Gary Speed. I did wonder about removing the post, but it seemed right to leave it up.)

Alternative Advent: Top 10

A few of the slightly more creative ways to get from here to December 25th. Yes, you may have seen some of these mentioned here before!

1. Beach Hut Advent Calendar, every day from 1-24th December on Hove seafront. An Advent calendar with real doors. A calendar based on last years huts is available, and Bridlington has taken up the idea too.

2. Whywearewaiting online advent calendar, the current introductory vid features the International Development Secretary encouraging us to have a Fair Trade advent. New video reflection each day of Advent, with a focus on slowing down and thinking about our lifestyle.

3. Hubble Space Telescope Advent Calendar, stunning images online, the link is for last years version, and hopefully they’ll repeat it this year. Update they have.

4. Charity Unleashed my favourite Christmas present, even though it was launched for
September. In Sheffield, someone has got several local businesses to pledge freebies towards a ‘chequebook’ of vouchers, each of which is sold for £50 in aid of a local cancer charity. The total value of the vouchers is over £1000, including live sport, meals out, spa treatments etc. Brilliant idea, wouldn’t be surprised if this catches on elsewhere.

5. Present Aid buy ducks, goats, worms or a toilet for your dearly beloved. Actually, your dearly beloved just gets a card, and the knowledge that the presents have gone to the developing world. The ideal present for the family which has everything.

6. Nine Comedians and Carols (Facebook link) tour, a stand-up take on the Christmas story.

7. Blue Christmas – quite a few people find the forced jollity of December hard to cope with, not least for the bereaved. Several churches (here’s one example) now host a ‘Blue Christmas’ service for people who don’t find Christmas a season of ‘good cheer’.

8. Advent Conspiracy: challenging people to buy 1 less present than usual, spend a bit more time with one another, and give the money saved to provide clean drinking water in the developing world.

9. Highlights from the ‘12 Days of Kitschmas’, Ship of Fools’ tribute to the most ‘interesting’ seasonal items. Featuring a nativity set complete with the present-day wall of Bethlehem (fair point) and a set of ‘Christmas’ lights featuring Jesus being flogged (Hmmmm, if you see these in your street, time to move house).

10. For something community-building, there’s a tradition elsewhere on December 6th of making biscuits and taking them round the neighbours (for St. Nicholas Day). Great way to get to know your neighbours. You never know, it might be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Blue Christmas Resources & Liturgy

One of the top search terms to this site in the last few weeks has been 'Blue Christmas', a Christmas service run in some places for those who find Christmas a difficult time. I posted on this a couple of weeks back, and here are some more links.

Full order of service by Thom Shuman, who seems to have Iona connections, including some nice rituals to use at different points in the service.

More traditional Anglican-type order from Hawaii, good use of light and candles, includes hymn words, could be printed out as it is as a complete service sheet. More notes on it here. Love the site name 'strong centre, open doors'. Great.

article from United Church news, with some personal stories.

Great resource page from a Methodist district with a number of links, suggestions for songs, and connected resources. Well worth a look. They have lots of other resources for Christmas too.

Roman Catholic version here.

Another collection at textweek, need to scroll down a page or so. Monster resources site.

Several places also call it a 'longest night service', it would be interesting to see if Christmas, rather than All Souls/Saints, becomes the more natural time of the year for remembering those who have died, for those who aren't so shaped by the rhythms of the church calendar.