In a vain attempt to keep up with events, TV companies have announced yet more new programming for late December
Deal or No Deal: Teresa May searches 22 identical red boxes for something that she can sell to her MPs. Every now and again the Junker rings up and offers her nothing.
The Half-Baked British Break Off: hosted from a small second hand gazebo by Barely Merry
Sounds of the 70s At last UKIP finds a decade which resonates with its values. Featuring old classics such as Making Plans for Nigel, Here's to You Tommy Robinson, and a remix of Money, Money, Money featuring Aaron Banks.
DIY SAS under cover of the Brexit chaos, the government sneak out plans for further cuts to the armed forces.
Are You Being Served Notice? Revival of the classic comedy set in a department store. For the first week anyway, after that it's set in deserted retail premises in an anonymous town centre.
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