Haggis RIP?

Matt Wardman has this deeply disturbing story. Well, ok, not that disturbing.

Keep an eye on the Wardman Wire from about noon today, for my analysis of the 3 conference speeches of Clegg, Brown and Cameron. Here's a sneak preview: (I've done Clegg in green rather than orange because orange wouldn't show up very well on this background!)

Length
38 Minutes, 4085 words (107.5 wpm)
58 Minutes, 6703 words (115.6 wpm)
64 Minutes, 7083 words (110.7 wpm)

Which might just mean that Brown speaks more quickly, or that Cameron got more applause, or that Cameron deliberately slowed down to do the 'gravitas' thing. Clegg had more jokes and payoff lines, which may explain his slower delivery.

Height: Best Lines
"This is a Zombie government, a cross between Shaun of the Dead and I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue"
"Cameron's only aim was to make the Conservatives inoffensive. Problem is, once you strip out the offensive parts of the Conservative party, there isn't much left."

"This is no time for a novice"
"One morning I woke up and realised my sight was going in my good eye. I... lay in the darkness for days on end. At that point my future was books on tape. But thanks to the NHS my sight was saved by care my parents could never have afforded."

"Tony Blair used to justify endless short-term initiatives by saying 'we live in a 24 hour media world.' But this is a country, not a television station."
"Four ways to make a complaint, but not one way for my constituents wife to die with dignity."

Depth: Core Ideas
Future, protecting the planet, liberalism - trusting people and providing 'people-shaped' government, tax cuts for lower incomes, civil liberties
Fairness, stable government in uncertain times, hard work, duty, more fairness - applied to law & order, education, economics, global poverty, NHS, immigration, welfare etc.
Responsibility - in society, politics and finance; mending the broken society, change, character and judgment, family, sound money & low taxes, sorting out broken politics.

and so on, also covering weight (specific policy announcements) width (policy areas covered), durability (lasting impact) and the Hallelujah factor.