Time to Talk

Every night I would check my alarm clock 10, 15 times to make sure that I'd set it to 'on'. Every morning I'd wake with a feeling of dread about the walk to work, and I'd get on my knees to ask for strength. Relief that the working day was over would quickly be overtaken by anxiety about the next day waiting round the corner. Once on the way back from work I stopped in at the local co-op corner shop for some food. I just stood there, unable to choose what to take off the shelves, overwhelmed by the choice. I put the basket down and left without buying anything.

A few years later I sat in the corner of our front room in tears, trying to explain to the kids why daddy was sad. It took a couple of other work colleagues to notice I was looking rough and to sit me down for coffee and help me to talk about why I wasn't my usual self.

I'm blessed, I've not had any deep or longstanding issues with depression, anxiety, or other forms of mental illness. I've had the mental equivalent of bruising or a small crack. But I know that talking to people about what was going on was a massive part of helping me to get through it.

Today is Time to Talk day, 24 hours in which to start conversations about mental health, raise awareness and share the message that mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, neither is talking about it.

Is there someone you know who's been looking more down and upset lately. Who's taken to avoiding church, the school playground, their usual circle of friends. Who struggles with the greeting 'how are you'? Maybe they could do with a coffee too. 

Because mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something we don't talk about enough. 

Onward Chris Froome Soldiers

Seeing two British riders leading the Tour de France at the moment is superb. But even more amazing is the job being done by one of them, Chris Froome.

Although Bradley Wiggins is leading, Froome is just 2 minutes behind, and has done most of the donkey work, dragging Wiggins up mountain after mountain in his slipstream. It's all part of a superbly worked out strategy which Sky are delivering to perfection. It's also clear that (so far) Froome is just as strong a challenger as Wiggins.

But Froome is playing the John the Baptist role: 'he must increase, I must decrease', sacrificing his own chance of glory so that Wiggins can win. A few days ago Froome sprinted clear, realised Wiggins hadn't followed, and dropped back again to see him to the line. It's not only a wonderful exhibition of riding talent, it's a wonderful display of character too. Without Froome, and the rest of his team, it would be hard for Wiggins to contemplate winning the Tour. Even with his massive talent, he needs the team around him to get him through.

Which has set me wondering how much better we do as Christians with a Chris Froome, someone to drag us over the mountains, to keep our pace steady, to keep us in the race, when left to our own devices we'd level out or drop out. Time after time in the Bible, it's when left to their own devices that leaders fall apart: Elijah on his own against the King, Saul without Samuel to guide him, King David separated from his armies and advisors, Peter on his own in the high priests courtyard. By contrast, Paul has Barnabas, Timothy has Paul, Jesus surrounds himself with a team and with people who will pray for him (however badly).

Having just joined a gym in one of my repeated attempts to get fit, I know I'll get more out of it with a training partner, with someone to drag me down there when I don't feel like it, to hold me accountable. If it's up to me, its easy not to bother, to find something else to do, to let entropy set in. That's what happened on every previous occasion anyway. We can motivate and encourage and inspire people as much as we like through our sermons, but that will just get people out of the saddle for a few moments. In the long race, every disciple needs a Chris Froome. And we need to play that role for others: 'it takes more grace than I can tell to play the second fiddle well', but investing in someone else's greatness of character is a vital calling.

Everybody needs an Alastair Campbell

Here's Alastair Campbell on the Andrew Marr show yesterday, defending Tony Blair as he did at the Iraq inquiry a few weeks ago. The cynic might say that Campbell has got to defend Blair because his own reputation is so closely linked to Blairs. But if it's closely linked, then that's mostly Alastair Campbell's own doing.

I'm still not sure about the truth of the decision to go to war in Iraq, but whatever the truth, I'm very impressed by Campbell's loyalty to his former boss. What does it do for you, I wonder, to have someone who is so committed to you personally, that they will defend you 100% when it would be much easier to step away and hang you out to dry? It reminds me a bit of Paul and Barnabas in Acts, where Barnabas effectively sponsors Paul and sticks up for him, when it clearly wasn't easy for the early church to accept this former hit-man into their fellowship (Acts 9:26). Would Paul have got very far without the 'son of encouragement' standing alongside him?

A loyal friend is a great gift. Especially one who is so loyal to you that s/he will defend you to the hilt in public, even if they're telling you in private that you're wrong. One of the things we mention in marriage prep (currently running at our local) is the need to stick up for each other: it can be really corrosive to a relationship if couples make fun of one another or run each other down in front of others. It's tough when there might be in-laws wanting to carry on 'claiming' you as one of them, rather than letting the new husband and wife make their new family unit their prime loyalty. But the marriage pledges are a declaration of absolute loyalty to one another, and that means presenting a united front to the world.

Campbell has taken so many punches for Blair that it's not surprising he struggles a bit now and again. Another part of the Marr interview touched on the difficulties of living in the public eye and staying in touch with reality. I hope for his sake that Campbell has some good mates too.